


Suit & Mack: Project Nerd Love

by agentcalliope



Series: A Doug's Life [9]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: DOUG AND MACK TEAM UP HELL YEAH, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, MACK AND DOUG TAKE UP THE REINS, MAKING FS SHIPPERS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS, PROJECT NERD LOVE, S C E N E, T H E, because, tags will go up as chapters are added, the scene, you know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentcalliope/pseuds/agentcalliope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mack learns that he's going undercover with Fitz-Simmons, he contacts Doug to help set up a plan to help these two nerds get a move on in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Call to Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [grapehyasynth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapehyasynth/gifts).



> THIS ONE'S FOR YOU BUDDY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doug gets an unexpected visitor who needs his help

* * *

 

Doug expecting Joey's knock on the door, so when he hears the _thump thump_ he bolts out of his chair and runs to let the newly FS shipper in.

 

_I'M READY I'M READY TO SHOW YOU **THE KISS** JOEY YOU'LL DIE I'M READYY TO WATCH YOU WATCH.  
_

 

Except when Doug pulls the door open, the sweet cinnamon roll that is Joey is _not_ there waiting for him.

 

It's Mack, the _hunky-chunky-all-of-a-man that Doug definitely doesn't have a massive man crush on nope._

 

"Suit! I'm so glad I got your address right." Mack's rich deep voice rumbles.

 

_oh my god oh my god Mack called me Suit again oh my it's really a thing and he also remembered me enough to LOOK UP MY ADDRESS bless him bless America bless the UNIVERSE_

 

_BE COOL DOUG DON'T LET HIM KNOW HOW EXCITED YOU ARE OKAY SERIOUSLY CALM DOWN._

 

"Hey Mack, what's up?"

 

_nice that was hip and cool but also professional Martha would be so proud._

 

Mack's eyes latch onto Doug's and Doug _doesn't swoon nope not him._

"I'm being sent on a mission with Fitz-Simmons and if they are EVER gonna get their act together and _**get**_ together, I'm gonna need your help."

 

_MACK NEEDS MY HELP??? MY HELP?????? WITH FITZSIMMONS????? HELL YEAH._

 

_WAIT._

 

_HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT._

 

"I'm in, but before you should know something."

 

"Yeah?" Mack crosses his huge gorgeous arms _god I just wanna Mack-Attack hug._

 

But now Doug has something Mack needs to hear.

"THEY KISSED LAST NIGHT."

Doug can't keep cool and professional anymore.

 

Mack's jaw drops and his arms fall to his side.

"What??"

 

Doug vigorously nods his head.

"YEP. MULTIPLE TIMES."

 

Mack shakes his head and chuckles.

"I don't care how you know that, Suit, but I trust you so I believe it."

 

_MACK FRICKING TRUSTS ME IS THIS A DREAM??!_

 

"Suit this means this mission is even _more_ important, I really do need your help to get the ball rollin'," Mack mentions after a brief pause.

 

_SIGN ME THE FRICK UP._

_PROJECT: NERD LOVE HAS BEEN INITIATED._

 

Doug tells Mack to wait for _five_ seconds and grabs a change of clothes and the FS Emergency duffel bag (full of Perthshire wedding magazines, documents full of science innuendos, his FS journals and everything else he would need in case of feels and or getting asked to help out with a FS mission) under his bed and is ready to go in 3.23 seconds.

 

"C'mon I gotta go start setting up with Fitz."

 

_YYYYAAASSSSSSSS LEGGO MACK MACKY MACK_

 

They walk down the hall and quickly Doug pulls out his Mobile and texts Martha.

 

 

* * *

Doug: HONEY I GOT CALLED ON A TOP MISSION ILL BE BACK WHEN I CAN

Martha: DOES IT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH FS?

Doug: MAYBE?

Martha: DONT COME BACK UNTILL THEY DO THE DO

* * *

 

 

If only Doug knew...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to chinesebakery for the text message DOUG AND MARTHA APPRECIATE IT


	2. JEMMA 'NO CHILL' SIMMONS SAY WHATTTTTT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack packs up to leave for mission and Doug stands near the wall to further the perception that he's just a extra in the scene.
> 
> Fitz and Simmons began a conversation about their relationship

* * *

 

 

"Here, Suit, take this." Mack hands a comms device to Doug, who wordlessly accepts it and places it in his ear without asking.

 

"Nobody knows you're coming, so I won't really be able to speak to you at times. But you're like a Fitzsimmons' Bloodhound, so if you notice anything or think of anything just say it and I'll hear it."

 

 _I_ AM _LIKE A BLOODHOUND WITH FITZSIMMONS THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE YOU'RE SO SMART MACK SO SMART._

 

 

They are finally arriving at the preparation site when Mack turns to Doug and speaks in a _low sultry whisper_ _DAMMIT DOUG STOP THINKING ABOUT MACK-ATTACK HUGS_

 

"Okay I think Turbo and I are gonna start packing stuff so you should probably find somewhere else to wait- you're the secret weapon and they can't suspect a thing."

 

_I'm a **secret weapon** holla bitchessss SUIT IS ON THE CASE_

 

Doug nods in agreement and splits off from Mack, finding a great spot near the wall and some boxes to pretend like he's helping.

 

_This is great I tell you GREAT I'm a middle-aged white guy I LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUY NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO RECONGIZE ME I knew becoming a spy was a good idea._

 

Doug stops congratulating himself when he hears Fitz starting a conversation with Mack, and even though Doug can only see the back of Fitz that _beautiful accent is still loud and clear god bless_

 

"You're awfully quiet." Fitz mentions to Mack, clearly asking because he cares about his friend and _MACK/FITZ BROTP FTW_

 

"Just got a lot on my mind."

 

_GREAT NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT DAISY MY POOR DAISY MY SWEET INNOCENT DAISY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BESIDES FITZSIMMONS AND MY WIFE AND KIDS I'LL KILL HIVE I'LL RIP HIM TO SHREDS-_

_OH MY GOD SIMMONS IS COMING SIMMONS' COMING THIS WAY MACK'S GOTTA GO HE HAS GOT TO GOO._

_FOCUS DOUG FOCUS_

 

Doug touches the device in his ear and whispers as professionally as he can muster.

"Mack. Simmons is coming right at you and Fitz you should walk away."

 

Doug watches Mack, who makes no movement that he had heard him but tells Fitz as he starts to walk away that he'll see him later in the Quinjet. Doug's heart quickens when Mack walks by him and winks, making the notion to listen in on the Fitzsimmons conversation.

 

DAMN that man is so smooth no wonder he's a spy and so _goddamn perfect._

 

Tossing his thoughts aside, Doug carefully pays attention to _HIS FIRST CANON-FITZSIMMONS CONVERSATION PRAISE THE LORD_

 

"Uh, Jemma, uh, I know it's not a good time-"

 

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT FITZ ALSO THERE'S NO ONE TRYING TO KILL YOU OR TRANSPORT YOU TO ANOTHER PLANET YET SO WHAT YOU MEAN BY NOT A GOOD TIME?_

 

"-but can we speak about what happened between us last night... _professionally_ speaking, I mean."

 

 _HA. boy who you trying to fool_ everyone _knows you and Simmons are soulmates and I've watched the video like 98765 times by now it feels like it's been a WEEK since you guys made out and if that's_ professional _then be professional with her every day C'MON MARTHA AND I AND LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE HAS WAITED 3 SEASONS FOR THIS._

 

"Of course, Dr. Fitz. We are colleagues after all."

 

_stop it you guys are so cute thinking we all don't know what you mean ugh my little science babies trying to hide the fact that they're kissing and making out on the reg BLESS you._

 

"That we are, Dr. Simmons, and um... that we are."

 

_yeah and my name isn't Doug and I'm not bffls with one special handy dandy Agent Alphonso Mackenzie._

 

Fitz continues with his thoughts.

"It's that 'working' relationship which I like to keep intact."

 

_My sweet Fitz you could kill a man and she would still love you GOD JUST LET MY OTP BE CANON AND HAPPY JUST FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR????_

 

 

Doug watches as Simmons nods her head in agreement, saying:

"Yes, we wouldn't want anything to interfere with it."

 

_Like the 'bloody cosmos' am I right Simmons or am I right??? and now I'm crying that was a major blow to the gut months ago and now I'm making fun of it WHAT IN THE WORLD_

 

"Exactly. Um, so, that's why, as... as... things progress with our, um..."

Fitz trails off and struggles with what he's trying to say.

 

_'um....' what Fitz UMMMM WHAT TAKE YOUR TIME BUT LIKE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU SAYIN'_

 

Fitz reroutes his whole speech and Doug can see Simmons' face as she tries to figure out what Fitz is saying.

 

_same girlfriend samee_

 

"We should consider... all variables as we move forward,because things are bound to get... complicated.

 

_COMPLICATED???? OVER MY DEAD BOD-_

 

"You mean once we have sex?"

 

Doug leans over Fitz's side to get a clearer view of her face because _that did NOT just actually happen._

_JEMMA SIMMONS SAY WHATTT??? JEMMA SIMMONS KEEPING IT REALLLLL HOLLLAAAAA YOU TELL HIM GURL YOU TELL HIM WHAT'S UP HA FRICKING JEFF LOOKS MORE STUPID EVERY DAY I AM LOVING IT._

 

Fitz is speechless, and quickly scurries out of there when May comes up to Simmons.

 

Doug's already running to find Mack because _JEMMA SIMMONS HAS NO CHILL AND THIS PROJECT MIGHT BE EASIER THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT TIS A GREAT TIME TO BE ALIVE  
_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to notapepper for the idea of "Mack-Attack Hugs"! :D


	3. Step 1 of Project Nerd Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doug and Mack initiate the first step of Project Nerd Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay!

* * *

 

 

When they reach their destination, Fitzsimmons  preoccupy themselves with unloading their bags and Mack swiftly sneaks Doug into their assigned hotel room.

"Alright, Suit... where can you stay..." Mack glances around the room, searching for a secluded hiding space where Doug can stay (and if he screams in delight Fitzsimmons can't hear him)

 

_There are not a lot of places that can do that, actually. I should know I’ve had to look for rooms in The Playground to re-watch The Kiss multiple times._

 

Suddenly, _beautiful, foreign musical_ voices begin to come from the outside and Mack and Doug freeze in place.

 

_oh no oh no oh no I GOTTA HIDE_

 

Doug quickly runs into the closet the exact same time Fitzsimmons walk into the room.

 

"Whew that was close Macky Mack"

 

From the comms in Doug's ear, he hears Mack clear his throat and he realizes that he may have had said that _aloud_.

 

_Great._

 

Doug stays as silent as he can, cramped in that little closet, looking out a small crack in the door as his best friend and  OTP discuss the mission. He's not _bored_ of course, because Fitzsimmons could be discussing something as boring as insurance and Doug would be salivating because they would be _TALKING TO EACH OTHER AND THAT'S ALL IT TAKES FOR DOUG'S SHIPPER HEART TO EXPLODE._

OTP's man. They just _ruin_ you.

 

He reverts back to listening in time to hear Fitz mention something _amazing_.

"So Simmons and I will pose as top-level geneticists-"

 

Doug has to bite his fist from keeping a squeal from coming out.

_oh my god oh my god oh my god IS THIS IS??? IS THIS THE UNDERCOVER FITZSIMMONS SCENE I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR??? ARE THEY GONNA POSE AS A COUPLE OH MY GOD I HOPE SO THEY BETTER OMG I CAN SEE IT NOW ITS LIKE HE'S HACKING INTO SOMETHING AND SHE'S LIKE 'OH NO A BAD GUYS COMING' AND SHE'S LIKE 'QUICK WE GOTTA MAKE OUT TO DEFER HIM' AND FITZ IS ALL LIKE 'WHA-' BUT SHE CUTS HIM OFF BY LUNGING AT HIM AND THEY MAKE OUT PASSIONATELY EVEN AFTER THE BAD GUY LEAVES THATS THE DREAM THAT BETTER BE CANON I SWEAR._

 

"-looking to make a sale," Fitz finishes.

 

Doug has an epiphany: an _amazing, brilliant, top-notch, incredible,_ plan that perfectly fits with the Project Nerd Love rough draft he came up with during the plane ride:

 

Step 1: Get the Sass.

 

And Doug knows exactly what to do to get it.

He whispers into the comms to Mack.

"Hey hey Mack you should totally tell them they gotta look nice because they'll be like 'what we don't usually look nice? do we just wear sciencey clothes all the time' they'll totally get sassy and we all know that FS sass helps further cement their bond and relationship yep yep."

 

Mack doesn't miss a beat, fluidly improving Doug's suggestion into something he would actually say _bless his soul._

"Okay, but, remember, this is a high-class establishment, so you got to dress the part, which means no lab coats on this one."

Doug can only see the back of Fitzsimmons' heads, and he prays that they take the bait.

 

_c'mon c'mon c'mon just do it do it for me and every shipper on this planet c'mon_

 

"Well, do you think scientists only wear lab coats?" Simmons quips, and Doug wipes a single tear from his cheek.

 

_YES THAT'S IT GIRL WORK IT UGH TAKE IT AWAY SIMMONS, TAKE. IT. AWAY._

 

"Are we wearing them now?" she continues, her voice taking on the sass that reminds Doug of the good old days _GOD BLESS_

 

Fitz chimes in and Doug has to fan away multiple tears now as he listens to Fitz BURN Mack.

"Yeah. What, we walk around all day with goggles and gloves on, do we?"

 

_NO YOU DO NOT MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN NO YOU DO NOT YOU TELL THE BIG MEANY MAN YOU TELL 'EM (Mack I still love you don't worry)_

 

"I'm sorry." Mack sounds sincere with his apology, and they continue on with the actual mission details.

 

They continue talking about the mission and Doug quietly scribbles the Step 1 actions and outcomes because hopefully they won't need to use this again but who knows this season finale might hurt Fitzsimmons. _Again._

 

Fitz's voice rings out and breaks Doug's rapid thoughts.

"Yeah, and if that doesn't work, you can go and beat him up and drag him out, 'cause all you are is big and strong, hmm?"

 

_hehehehhe MY LITTLE SCOTTISH SASS-PANTS MY HEART GOD WHY WHY DO YOU CURSE ME WITH GIVING ME A SCOTTISH SASS MONSTER AND AN ENGLISH NO CHILLS MONSTER I CAN'T_

 

Doug finally calms down a bit at the same time Fitzsimmons leave to begin the op, and through the crack in the door he sees Mack casts him a smile and a thumbs-up from his seat at the table, and Doug gives him a thumbs-up back too.

 

Step 1: Complete.

 

_PROJECT NERD LOVE IS UNDERWAY BITCHESSSSSSS_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to AchillesMonkey for reminding me about the Fitz-sass-at-Mack attack!! you da bomb!


End file.
